Comments to Peer's essays

Grizzell:
:D it was interesting to read your post. i think that the first paragraph/ introduction was an interesting summary of the book but it is somewhat a spoiler. i think you should do what sutherland recommended, which is to talk about the entire summary but without revealing any names. the rest of your essay was nice. i think that you should switch the second and third paragraph to make it more interesting. however, that is just a suggestion. you don't need to do it if you don't want to. it is OK the way it is already.


Crystal:
you write such perfect essays that there is no need to correct T_T. i think that you summarized a bit too much. too detailed from how i see it. its as if we know every single little thing that happened in the book. i like how you connect it to Macbeth. i suggest that you emphasize what you wrote near the end, about human nature and take away some of the summary.... kinda like finish your essay in a way that makes readers interested in actually reading the book even after the detailed summary


Amber:
Hi evil XD you introduction is good. i like how you gave the summary but not the characters name. it is good overall but i think you can say more about the weakness area and maybe cite something to show your point.

the coma book review rough draft

In this book, “the Coma” by Alex Garland, it talks about a coma patient exploring his dream in order to try to find a way to wake up. In his dream, he experienced confusion because things were different from how he remembered it and he seems to forget many stuff. He then realizes that he is in a coma and then tried to find ways to wake himself up. He constantly tried many ways in waking himself up but without the things he should have remembered but forgotten, he doesn’t really know his identity or occupation. The things he can remember are blurred so he knows part of the truth but not the whole truth.

Because the book is explaining the psychology of a patient in a coma, it gets confusing at times. The weakness of this book is the short chapters. The chapters are so short that it is sometimes a page or half a page long. Although this book is very interesting because it keeps the readers anxious to know what really happens when one is in a coma. One of the flaws of this book is the chapters. It is pointless to me to see that this book have so many chapters when each chapter is really the continuation of the last. Reading it, I felt as though the author just made one section into another chapter to expand the pages. This story do captivates its readers but these chapters really annoy me and make me lose focus every single time. It completely made me neglect the reading and focused on the length of the chapters and compared one chapter’s length with another.

            The other flaw of this story is switching the event and the scene. Although the content of the story is understandable, the way how the author writes makes it confusing because the reader would then have to remind themselves that the character is switching from being awake in the coma to being awake in real life but no actually awake at the same time. The author did try to italicized chapters where the main character, Carl, is awake but not awake at the same time. The italicized chapters did help with the transitioning but the narration switches. The way Carl explains the situation gets mixed up. For example, in chapter two of the second section, one paragraph states, “The next morning, I was lying on the bed. I was lying on the bed, and the nurse was walking across the room towards me,” (Garland 74). It was confusing the first time I read this line so I had to reread it again. In this book, there is one Carl, but there is also two of him: the coma version of him and the sleeping version of him. It transitions between both on

            Due to the complexity of careful syntax and dictions required to make this book less confusing, the author also divided this book into three sections. The first section talks about Carl in his coma sate where he continues his “daily” life. He thought that he was either paranoid or had a stroke which affected his brain. He was unaware that he was in a coma but he did notice a few strange things which he can’t explain so he thought that he was hallucinating. The second section reveals to the reader that Carl suspicion continues to grow until he realize that he is wake, but only in his dream. He realizes that he is never awake and that he is in the hospital, still in a coma. The third section reveals how Carl tried to wake himself up by trying to take a road down memory lane and remember something that might make him wake up. In the end, he saw himself in his dream the incident which led him to his coma state.

            Each section allows the book to be less confusing because the story continuously switched the scene where Carl is in his coma to where he is awake in real life but can not move. To have the whole plot revolve about Carl in his coma sate is confusing because if the diction is poorly worded, the story itself would be confusing. The author tried to divide this book into three sections to make this story less confusing.

            I think that his style of writing did make this less confusing to read. This book gets harder to read if the book wasn’t divided into this way and if the chapters were long. The author was careful in making the chapters really short to make sure that the readers can grasp what they read and the illustrations also helped.

            To conclude, this book’s weakness, which is the writing style, is also its strength. It does get annoying at times but it makes the book a whole lot easier to read. Because the book focus on something very complex such as talking about the things a coma patience experience, confusion is very common. 

book review 2

In “the Coma”, Alex Garland uses the main character, Carl, to explore a psychological event of what happens to a person after they fell to a coma. This book describes about one possibility to a coma patient and describes a way to perhaps wake up from the coma. In this book, Carl was beaten till he was unconscious. When he wakes up, he realizes that something was weird until he found out that he was in a coma.

            Due to the complexity of careful syntax and dictions required to make this book less confusing, the author also divided this book into three sections. The first section talks about Carl in his coma sate where he continues his “daily” life. He thought that he was either paranoid or had a stroke which affected his brain. He was unaware that he was in a coma but he did notice a few strange things which he can’t explain so he thought that he was hallucinating. The second section reveals to the reader that Carl suspicion continues to grow until he realize that he is wake, but only in his dream. He realizes that he is never awake and that he is in the hospital, still in a coma. The third section reveals how Carl tried to wake himself up by trying to take a road down memory lane and remember something that might make him wake up. In the end, he saw himself in his dream the incident which led him to his coma state.

            Each section allows the book to be less confusing because the story continuously switched the scene where Carl is in his coma to where he is awake in real life but can not move. To have the whole plot revolve about Carl in his coma sate is confusing because if the diction is poorly worded, the story itself would be confusing. The author tried to divide this book into three sections to make this story less confusing.

            I think that his style of writing did make this less confusing to read. This book gets harder to read if the book wasn’t divided into this way and if the chapters were long. The author was careful in making the chapters really short to make sure that the readers can grasp what they read and the illustrations also helped.

Book Review: the Coma

What are the weaknesses of this book, in your opinion?

        In my opinion, the weakness of the book, “the Coma”, by Alex Garland is the short chapters and the continuous switching between one situation with another. The chapters are as short as one page or even half of a page. Although this book is very interesting because it keeps the readers anxious to know what really happens when one is in a coma. One of the flaws of this book is the chapters. It is pointless to me to see that this book have so many chapters when each chapter is really the continuation of the last. Reading it, I felt as though the author just made one section into another chapter to expand the pages. This story do captivates its readers but these chapters really annoy me and make me lose focus every single time. It completely made me neglect the reading and focused on the length of the chapters and compared one chapter’s length with another.

            The other flaw of this story is switching the event and the scene. Although the content of the story is understandable, the way how the author writes makes it confusing because the reader would then have to remind themselves that the character is switching from being awake in the coma to being awake in real life but no actually awake at the same time. The author did try to italicized chapters where the main character, Carl, is awake but not awake at the same time. The italicized chapters did help with the transitioning but the narration switches. The way Carl explains the situation gets mixed up. For example, in chapter two of the second section, one paragraph states, “The next morning, I was lying on the bed. I was lying on the bed, and the nurse was walking across the room towards me,” (Garland 74). It was confusing the first time I read this line so I had to reread it again. In this book, there is one Carl, but there is also two of him: the coma version of him and the sleeping version of him. It transitions between both on some chapters and so it was confusing because of the need to reread it and to reread it slowly. 

Amy Tan Vs. Amy Chua

What similarities and differences do you notice between Amy Chua’s relationship with her kids and the mother-daughter relationships we see in “The Twenty-Six Malignant Gate”?

In the Twenty Six Malignant Gate, we see that each daughter in the four chapters were rebellious against their mother because they felt oppressed. It is similar to Amy Chua’s article, “tiger Mom’ because both of the stories explain about a mother who tells her daughter to do this and do that and that it will benefit them in the future. The daughter will end up rebelling and then a fight begins. In the fight, the daughter will be stubborn to see things from another view, and just view it one sided while the mother secretly knew everything. Then the daughter realizes something and made up with her mother.

In “Four Directions”, Waverly Jong talked about how when she was a ten year old prodigy, her mother would brag and tell Waverly what to do with chess although she didn’t really know the basics of it. Waverly got angry at her mother because she “hated the way she [mother] tried to take all the credit,” Tan 170). A fight started in the streets where Waverly told her mother that she did not know anything and then ran. When she went back home, her mother began to ignore her and then when they are back on normal terms, her mother did not stay by her side when she practiced and did not brag nor dust the trophies. With time, Waverly, “understand finally. Not what she had said. But what had been true all along,” (Tan 183). Their fight allowed Waverly to discover something about herself.

In “Tiger Mom” Amy Chua had a similar fight with her youngest daughter. Her daughter was not able to play this one piece in the piano because her two hands cannot play a different tempo at the same time. Amy Chua continued to force her daughter to practice hard until she gets it right:

“Finally, the day before her lesson, Lulu announced in exasperation that she was giving up and stomped off.
Get back to the piano now," I ordered“You can’t make me.”“Oh yes, I can.”Back at the piano, Lulu made me pay. She punched, thrashed and kicked. She grabbed the music score and tore it to shreds,” (Amy Chua).

The fight ended with Lulu discovering that she was able to play the piece and found out that she have the potential to play it, just that she needs to work a little harder.

Joy Luck Club: Introduction

Question: What is Amy Tan’s purpose behind the introduction to the second section? What thematic elements, characterization, or plot foreshadowing connect it to the stories that follow, particularly “Rules of the Game” and “Voice from the War”?

            In “The Joy Luck Club”, Amy Tan’s purpose behind the introduction to the second section foreshadows the bond between mothers and daughter. The introduction talks about a mother telling her daughter to listen to her and to stay near her. The mother feared for the daughter’s safety if she is out of her sight. The daughter didn’t listen because she wanted to ride her bike but the mother refused. Even after being told about the Twenty-six Malignant Gates, the daughter still refuses to listen. She rode her bike to the corner, but before even reaching the corner, the daughter is injured.

            This is the theme of the stories that are in the second section. In “Rules of the Game”, Waverly Jong was a chess prodigy who gained fame at a young age. Her mother stood by her side proudly however during their grocery shopping, Waverly told her mother that she is embarrassed. The argument went to the point where Waverly ran and ran:

“I ducked into another dark alley, down another street, up another alley. I ran until it hurt and I realized I had nowhere to go, that I was not running from anything. The alleys contained no escape routes,”(Tan 100).

This relates to the introduction at the beginning of the section because the daughter had an argument with her mother and in the end, the daughter ran. this story of Waverly Jong demonstrates how the mother gave an advice to her daughter, but the daughter, rebelliously disobeys and in the end, an argument erupt from the mother and daughter.

Moreover, “The Voice from the Wall”, also connects to the introduction at the second section. Lena St. Clair told the story and how she had this imagination of what happened to her neighbor next door. One day, however, the neighbor, Teresa, went to her house. She told Lena:

“We had this fight and she pushed me out the door and locked it. So now she thinks I’m going to wait outside the door until I’m sorry enough to apologize. But I’m not going to,”(Tan 114).

This story also ties in with the introduction because it is also about a mother and a daughter arguing with each other about something.

Joy Luck Club. Kweilin

           In “The Joy Luck Club” by Amy Tan, Suyuan Woo tells Jing-Mei “June” Woo, her daughter, the Kweilin story. However, each time she retells her story, the ending seems to change. From a happy ending, it slowly changes into one full of mysteries and many unanswered questions. One version was about how the formed a club in Kweilin although many people were suffering. They would play and have “feasts” while laughing and enjoying the happiness trying to forget the painful time they are enduring at the moment. It then change into about how Suyuan used the money to buy one thing and exchanged it with others and so on. The third ending was the journey to another place in order to escape death because she knew her fate being an officer's wife. She journeyed to Chungking and during her trip, she slowly abandon her stuff which was too heavy for her to hold.

          She changes the story she tells her daughter due to two reasons: trust and a lesson. As a child, June Woo isn't capable of understanding such a complicated a dark story. Telling her would be meaningless so Suyuan made it a happy ending when June was still young. The older June gets, the more Suyuan can trust her daughter into understanding such deep stuff so the ending will change to match the level of June. The deep secrets will slowly be revealed each time she retells the same story. Moreover, she did it to teach June a lesson. When June tried to ask for something, Suyuan said, “Why do you think you are missing something you never had?”(Tan 25). Suyuan told the darker side of her story in order to teach her daughter that she should value stuff and to not be greedy for more stuff. When June sulked in silence when she couldn't get what she wanted, telling this story allows Suyuan to indirectly tell her message to June about possession and greed without directly saying it. Many stories do have morals even if it is very unrealistic. Suyuan was probably trying to teach her daughter things and trusts her daughter to understand them.

Response to Chinese Mother article

 In the article "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior" by Amy Chua, she said:

Second, Chinese parents believe that their kids owe them everything. The reason for this is a little unclear, but it's probably a combination of Confucian filial piety and the fact that the parents have sacrificed and done so much for their children. (And it's true that Chinese mothers get in the trenches, putting in long grueling hours personally tutoring, training, interrogating and spying on their kids.) Anyway, the understanding is that Chinese children must spend their lives repaying their parents by obeying them and making them proud.
Third, Chinese parents believe that they know what is best for their children and therefore override all of their children's own desires and preferences. That's why Chinese daughters can't have boyfriends in high school and why Chinese kids can't go to sleepaway camp. It's also why no Chinese kid would ever dare say to their mother, "I got a part in the school play! I'm Villager Number Six. I'll have to stay after school for rehearsal every day from 3:00 to 7:00, and I'll also need a ride on weekends." God help any Chinese kid who tried that one.

          After reading this, I can see some of these characteristics in my own mom, but I don't feel that this is completely true. In my view, Amy Chua is a crazy mother trying to make all Chinese mother look bad. This is really stereotypical because first of all, kids don't owe their parents everything. Of course kids should owe their parents something, they don't need to dedicate their entire adult life giving back to their parents. I also don't think that kids are raised to obey their parents' every command. Kids have their own choice and free will, if they have to obey everything, then why not just have a robot by your side. Although Chinese parents are strict, it is for the safety of their child that they won't grow up acting like a deliquent. I think that Amy seriously exaggerate many of these things. I do agree that Chinese motehrs are seriously strict but the kids still have freedom. Parents only expect As from their kid and from how I see it with other Chinese mothers, the mothers will let their kids do ANYTHING as long as they maintain a perfect A.
          Moreover, I don't think that parents know what's best for their kids and that they can override their kids' desire and preference. No one knows what's best for others, even if they are their parents. Only the individuals can decide what's best for them. I do agree with Chua that kids and parents owe each other but not for life and not because of the parental relationship. A child and the parent can owe each other on other issues but if it's like how Chua describes it, I don't think that "owe" is the correct term. I think that parents push their kids and support them out of love for their kids to live a happy life and kids take care of their parents who are in their old age out of love. I don't think that it should be owing each other. This should be caring for each other out of love for each other's safety.

Orwell and Egypt

What connections do you see between the revolution Orwell described in Animal Farm and the events in Egypt, Tunisia, Honduras, etc...?
          The revolution that Orwell described in Animal Farm and the evnts in Egypt and many part of Middle East and Africa have many common aspects. one of them is involvement from a third party. In Orwell's book, when the animals are having their revolution, other animals from other farms were listening to the news while the humans were divided with the result of animals overthrowing their farmers. Some humans thought that they needed the farm back while other humans thought that the animals would break within themselves and fight one another. The uprising in the farm caused many humans to look carefully at the situation and divided the humans as to what will happen next. The same thing happened to Egypt. When the uprising started, many other countries were observing the situation, trying to see what will happen. United States involved themselves and since the situation was hard to predict, Americans were divided amongst themselves not knowing what the outcome of Egypt will be.
          Another common relationship with the book and the revolution in Egypt is that it slowly spreads. The news of the uprising spread both in the book and in Egypt. It spreads to other places near the rebellion. In Orwell's rebellion, the news of the animals rebelling in the farm spread all over England and many animals from other farms heard of the news. The same thing was with Egypt. Egypt had many uprising and the uprising inspired many other places to rebel as well. It gave courage to other countries that are suffering from tyranny and dictatorship. There had been many other tiny rebellion from countries who wanted the dictatorship to end and to have a democracy.
          Many of the rebellion that started was caused by people who are sick and tired from being ruled by a cruel tyrant. They are sick and tired of starving while their "leader" are wealthy and healthy. In Animal Farm, the farmers were happily profiting while making the animals work and making food out of the animals. The same thing happened to many of the countries that are now protesting. All the people were starving and don't have any freedom while their leader is profiting from their suffering. Both the rebellion from the animals and the people in Egypt and countries around it are trying to kick their tyrant out and to replace their system of government with democracy.

Animal Farm chapter 11

i did my animal farm chapter 11 with alyssa li.

Rebuttal to Alyssa

In Alyssa's topic about the number of required years of school, her thesis states that, “the number of years of required schooling should be changed - not increased or decreased, but altered so that it fits the students.” She feels that their years of school should be the same as how academically smart they are. this already is confusing because if it can't increase nor decrease, then it can't be alter without change. If it should change, then how can it not decreased or increased. However, she supports her thesis with, 

"However, students are currently being assigned to "grades" based upon their age. They are expected learn at the same pace as the rest of their peers and to graduate to the next "grade" every year - their learning speeds are not taken into account."

This has confusion in it because of the fact that if they are assigned due to how they do well academically, then at what point should they stop going to school. When should they stop learning in order to move into working. learning at the same pace might give comfort to students because there won't be a hue age gap between the students of the same grade.

"This expectation eventually leads to negativity - students begin to compare themselves to their peers and forget to factor in their differing individualities. They feel superior when comparing themselves to less academic peers and inferior when comparing to more academic peers."

 This couldn't support her point well because the students will compare themselves either way, no matter how and where they are put. if it is based on academic level, they would still compare themselves to those who are higher than them and to those who are lower than them. It will increase comparison of students because the system of school year based on academic level can create a huge gap to those of the same age. Having to be in the same grade as someone who is the same age might give comfort to the student rather than being in a grade level with people of different age. The oldest in that class might feel really stupid while the youngest might feel super smart.
    In conclusion, Alyssa have strong points but it is not clear and there are many confusions with her points.

Animal Farm

            In “Animal Farm”, George Orwell emphasized how language is important to the pigs that need to persuade the other animals. Language is a tool for communication and in the story, the animals communicate with one another. Major uses his trust from the animals to gain their attention while snowball uses friendliness to gain attention.

            Major is an old pig at the beginning of the story. He is considered wise and intelligent by the animals of Manor farm. Due to his old age, many animals respects him; they were willing to rest a little less just to hear him speak. He already had the trust of the animals so gaining attention from his audience is easier. He used his knowledge to convince the lower animals, “I do not think, comrades, that I shall be with you for many months longer, and before I die, I feel it my duty to pass on to you such wisdom as I have acquired,” (Orwell 28). His tone of wisdom allows the animals to believe everything he said, word per word. Moreover, his respect from the animals gave him more advantage. His language was affective in communicating with the animals because it was during the time when the animals are still suffering from humans. Animals seek change at that time because they couldn't stand suffering but they did not know what to do. During that time, having someone wise and more knowledgeable allows interest from the lower animals and Major's “dream” helped grow curiosity from the lower animals.

            Snowball, on the other hand, who was a young pig in the beginning of the story, could not use the trust from the animals to persuade. He needs to gain it first. He is a pig, who, among a few other pigs, studied the ways of human to plan the rebellion. Snowball is, “ a more vivacious pig than Napoleon, quicker in speech and more inventive, but not considered to have the same depth of character,”(Orwell 35). He acts as a representative of the lower animals and plan according to the animals' necessity and what they would favor. He and Napoleon debates a lot but he was still able to convince the lower animals. When discussing about the principle of Animalism, Snowball said that four legs are good, and those who stand on two legs are bad. The birds, who stood on two legs disagrees and argues. Snowball, who took into account of the animal's needs said, “A bird's wing … is an organ of propulsion and not of manipulation … the distinguishing mark of man is the hand, the instrument with which he does all his mischief,” (Orwell 51). Snowball's speeches always care about the well being of animals and tries his best to see what benefits the animals. His position is somewhat like a president because he represents the animals' needs, although the other pigs are also doing the same thing. Snowball's idea always gain the majority of the vote.

             Snowball also uses the word “comrade” a lot to convince the lower animals. It is effective because it makes it so that he is equal to the animals and does not possess more power than the animal. Using this, the animals will not see him as a tyrant but as a representative who is the voice of all the animals. His friendliness allows the other animals to trust him and to understand that Snowball can help them by improving their lives in any ways possible; he gains respect slowly from the other animals.
             In conclusion, both Major and Snowball uses different type of language and tone to persuade the lower animals. Major uses a more formal way, somewhat acting like a wise elder trying to lead freedom for all animals while Snowball uses a more friendly approach to gain the trust of his audience.

Debate Topic: Is Wikileaks overall more harmful or more beneficial to society?

Wikileaks is basically a website where people everywhere can go online to see the latest news. It is a site meant to leak the truth out. They have “We help you safely get the truth out” in big blue font on their homepage. Many people consider Wikileaks as bad because it reveals stuff that wasn’t meant to be revealed. Well, I think that it is beneficial to society: our democratic society, and societies ruled by corrupted governments.

            America is a free country where the government is ruled by the people, a democratic government. The topic of whether or not political power corrupts those who attains it is related to this debate. If it is a government ruled by the people, then the people should at least know everything that the government is doing. There are no secret from the government and the people. Wikileaks helps keep the government in check. Our government would not be a democracy if the government has their own agenda and the people know nothing about it. It is helpful to us because we are in charge of our country and our government.

            Moreover, in other countries, it might also be helpful too because it gives a little confidence to the people to stand up for themselves and to do something about their corrupted government. It might also be a site that inspires people to keep their corrupted government in check. Just like the recent event of people setting themselves on fire and starting a rebellion because the news of their government was leaked out online. News of how corrupted the government was had been revealed and it angered many people. They couldn’t take it anymore to the point that one person set himself on fire. This might seem bad, but it revealed the truth that wasn’t meant to be kept a secret forever. If the truth wasn’t heard and people continued with their life, many people might suffer to death. It’s better to have people keep their government in check early than later. Worse things could’ve happened to those people if the corrupted government continues to rule. All in all, I think that Wikileaks is helpful to society in maintaining peace and giving people power and confidence.

Power Corruption

 In my opinion, I think that those who obtain political power can eventually be corrupted but in the end, it depends on the individual. In history, it's true that many people who obtain power slowly becomes corrupted. An example would be Mao. Once he became the ruler of China, he tortured his own people and ruled with an iron fist. Even if one already holds power, due to human selfishness of wanting more, they would try to obtain stronger power, which is to take over neighboring countries.

Even though people do misuse the power, there are also people who don't. An example would be the George Washington. He led America to freedom from the British Empire, and gain the trust of many Americans. He could've took over and start the rule of tyranny, after all, he had everything he needs: trust of the military. Even though he could've, he didn't. Instead, when war is over, he went back to farming and stayed true to his loyalty in wanting a free America.

It varies from individuals whether or not they will be corrupted. Obtaining too much power can be a bad thing because it is hard to control and it leads to overconfidence. Holding an extreme amount of power is a huge responsibilities because it leads to arrogance and wanting more control.

I think George Orwell might agree with me that there are some people who attains political power can misuse it. When one holds power, they live a luxurious life while others who are less powerful will have to work day and night just to provide a meal.

“Man is the only creature that consumes without producing ... He sets them to work, he gives back to the bare minimum that will prevent from starving, and the rest he keeps to himself,”(Orwell 29).

Human nature itself is cruel. Selfish desire to be better than the rest, to be powerful, and to be the boss of everyone. Tyrants holds power and they misuse it. They live in a luxurious life from all the hard work that thousands of people worked for to provide their families a roof to live under. Having power makes tyrants lazy only wanting to give out order and not work.  

Free Post

After looking at visual images and what it does to society in Writing Two this week, I decided to say something about it. Women are definitely judge more on their appearance and are viewed as weak; the media advertises stuff that sometimes indirectly portrays men’s dominance. Women have to face the pressure of being judged and are more likely to suffer from violence of some sort. After reading “Two Ways Women Can Get Hurt” (or something like that), I felt that the author exaggerated a bit. She wrote about how women are view as objects and that men are cruel but I disagree with it. Men are also the victims as well. Men must face the pressure of being judge through whether they have muscle or not and their fashion. Fashion is something that we all are judged upon and are criticized the most on. The media shows images of people that we think of as models for us to become. For men, the model would be buff, tall, and strong, while for women, it would be slim, super skinny, and big breasts. The media does this to try and sell products. Sometimes, when some ads show up on the laptop, the images looks like they are trying to advertise people rather than products.

Moreover, I seriously want to question the people who models for those ads. Some of the women are sometimes naked in the ads. I seriously want to ask them how much they are willing to go in order to get fame and money. Are they willing to strip and have their pictures taken?

Also, I think that it is a bit unfair that if some men sleeps with many women, they are considered a player and somewhat attractive while if women sleeps with many men, they are called prostitutes, whores and sluts. To some men, sex is like a game to them and after they have what they want, they would dump their current girl with another one. I think that some women have it hard because if they did have sex before marriage, they would be looked down in society.

seven debate response

After reading all seven of the debates, I found that all of them have errors and aren’t really persuasive but since I have to talk about one, I will talk about “Skip the Admission Game” by Kevin Carey. It really wasn’t persuasive and after reading it, I was confused on what it was trying to persuade. The first half of the article is about if a person is rich, then they should go to an elite school, while the second half of the article talks about how poor people should think of alternatives rather than try to go to an elite school. “If you're among the small handful of students who have stellar SAT scores and parents with several hundred thousand dollars to spend, you should seriously consider going to an elite college or university,” (Par. 1).This is one of the factors that I found unpersuasive because it’s like saying rich people should go to rich school while poor people should stick to poor schools. I feel that it is like trying to persuade people to continue to divide the line between the poor and the rich. Even though the poor may not have enough money, they can find other ways to allow them to go to an elite school. Moreover, Carey said, “If, on the other hand, you're not one of those people -- and the odds are very high that you're not -- your decision-making will be somewhat more complicated,” (Par. 4). It would have been a bit persuasive because not having enough money can be trouble in deciding but to say the odds of something and cutting off the thoughts of it sounded offensive to the poor. It also ignores the fact that there are scholarships that elite schools provide for trouble like money issues. Overall, this is the least persuasive article.

The most persuasive, the one that actually is a little persuading to me is the article “What You Do vs. Where You Go” by Martha(Marty) O’Connell. It is overall better than the rest though it does have factors that make it unpersuasive. Near the middle, she states, “The key to success in college and beyond has more to do with what students do with their time during college than where they choose to attend,”(Par. 4) with a source following it afterward. She cites her source as well as giving a link to it to show us that she isn’t making stuff up. it was somewhat persuasive because earlier in her article, she describes an activity that some people did and gives some examples of famous people who didn’t attend college.

Response to "Too Much Is Not So Good"

I found a few stuff on Shiyun’s blog that I agreed on:

“Most high school students are pressured to get the best grades in the class and get accepted into the best colleges. They would spent most of their time studying and reading most of the time.  We should enjoy the time that we have until we become adults. We should reserve some time to have some fun and laugh with friends.”

The pressure to get into college is increasing and it makes students feel as if they need to spend every moment of their life to study and get good grades. It also pressured them to cheat in order to do well like their peers. The pressure is stressful and sometimes, going to the best colleges might be a wrong choice. It varies from students to students due to their strengths and their interests. Not every single students need to aim for the best college.

            Moreover, what is a good college? Is an elite school really rich and provides many resources. Do they have smart students there? A good college is different depending on people’s views. Furthermore, every student is smart. I don’t think that society should separate the students as either smart or dumb. Everyone holds different potentials. Some students might not be able to show it yet because they haven’t discovered it themselves.

            Also, the fact that our time to play and mess around is limited as well. we spend nineteen years to be kids. After that, we might spend almost eighty years acting as adults. With the increase pressure to study, our lives are mostly wasted since one third of our time is dedicated to sleeping. Another third would be for work or school. We have one third of our life left and that is the time we should spend on enjoying our life to the fullest. If we don’t spend time with families and friends, we would repeat our day over and over again which is really dull. We should spend time since our life is short. Our time to be with family members are limited because we can’t guarantee that they will be with us till we die.